Fear of public opinion. It's one of the most common fears that prevent us from achieving what we want.
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When we start doing something new, for some reason, we care very much about what other people think about us, although they don't care what you do at all; they have enough problems of their own.
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You can recognise this fear in yourself through the following symptoms:
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I am confident you have your favourite excuse story, that hilarious one.
Mine dates a few years back - a rural grocery store manager recounts Her experience:
Why are you envious? You can't be that way, remember? Only bad people envy. Have you heard that one? Since childhood, children are told about "bad envy". You can't; it's terrible; stop it; that's what evil people do.
What if we looked at envy from a different angle?
After all, you often envy what you don't have.
Oh, I do not want to decide anything; I want someone else to do this.
Do I want to? But I also want to find someone who will make decisions for me.
I wanted to lie under a palm tree and drink a cold mojito, and my wallet was full of currency. The more I spend, the more I get. What a thrill!
I also want to yell to my butler, "Jacques, Jacques. Where the hell have you been? I've got friends coming for dinner. Tell the cook to have quails ready by 6:00 and get me a 20-year-old semi-dry red wine. Oh, and have the pool cleaned."
The other day I heard an excellent dialogue between a mother and her 4-5 years old son. They were taking a long walk, and the child became cranky because he was tired of walking.
The mother said, "Daniel, I'm tired too. It's also hard for me, but we must continue walking. As soon as you and I get home, we'll rest together. But, please, think about how you can help yourself now. You realize you have to go anyway, and it's up to you how and when you get there."
I am already 45, and my life is over. It is too late for me to love, start something, change, give birth, make money, travel, breathe deeply, divorce, get married, go to the party, go to restaurants, study, and make friends. This list can go on forever.
At first, I thought this was a problem for people like me - born in Soviet times and grown up after many Eastern European countries broke away from the big RED. But, BTW, particular studies confirm this theory.
You're lucky; you caught the wave in time, have good karma, and are charismatic, pretty, sexy, and energetic. If I had what you have, I'd do many things.
People like to justify their inaction and devalue the success of others.
Everyone sees the end result, but no one sees the intermediate steps. And the hardest things happen during this period: you doubt your own abilities; you have no one to talk to because you're surrounded by people who think differently; you don't know where to go; you have no money.
I only became interested in psychology and coaching once I learned how much our childhood influences the rest of our life. But what we have learned in childhood predetermines our actions later.
Let's take a simple example. There is a little girl who has a lot of toys. And then, suddenly, her granny decides to give her toy to a neighbouring girl from a low-income family.
She doesn't discuss it with the child but takes her doll and gives it to this girl. But, of course, she has several more dolls, so what's the big deal?
Helena looked silently after Andrew. It seemed to her that her world had collapsed. She had no idea how she would live or what she would do; she just wanted to lie down and die.
⠀"So what if he went away every Friday for a weekend vacation with his friends? So what if he didn't help out around the house, and he couldn't because he was tired at work? I'm not as tired at work as a woman; women don't get tired; they can't. How will I be without him now? How?"
⠀Well, hello, Mrs Codependency. One person did the wrong thing, and the other person's day isn't going well.
Every now and again, you may bump into a situation where suddenly, and seemingly out of nowhere; you stop hitting your goals; you seem to be a little distracted.
You may feel burned out and overwhelmed.
Part of that comes from the intensity to follow through on a goal. That can take up much energy, you know, that mental focus of being able to stick with it.
You may find that you are entirely unfocused. You may say to yourself things like; I don't know, I'm just feeling burnt out, I don't see through, what's the next step, and so on.