I am already 45, and my life is over. It is too late for me to love, start something, change, give birth, make money, travel, breathe deeply, divorce, get married, go to the party, go to restaurants, study, and make friends. This list can go on forever.
At first, I thought this was a problem for people like me - born in Soviet times and grown up after many Eastern European countries broke away from the big RED. But, BTW, particular studies confirm this theory.
For us, people in the West were always confident and knew their ambitions and objectives well. The basis for this judgment came from the first western blockbusters and muscular mature characters, both men and women.
Boy, how wrong I was. I moved to London in 2010. A few weeks into my living in London, I noticed how frightened so many are. Myriad of fears: breakups, bereavement, losing jobs, abuse, the meaning of life. Those were fears on the surface.
Then we get to subtle fears: ones caused by panic attacks and anxiety, things never spoken openly: settlement status, skin colour, personal values.
In the culture of inclusion - widespread in the West I observed people not addressing specific issues, banning and tabooing them due to certain subtle opinions.
On the outside, everyone seemed happy - especially in Pubs after working hours. But, on the flip side, there are many unhappy faces on underground trains in the morning.
People settled for certainties:
- If you're not married by the age of something, you'll likely stay single.
- If you are over a certain age, you better settle for a secure job with a notice period of a minimum of three months.
- If you've reached so many years, forget about your hustle and stay safe at your workplace.
- Stay on the job regardless of culture.
The list can go on.
In such matters, one becomes a delicious piece for toxic people. An individual maintains one's life through the role of a rescuer to not deal with their own life and feel needed and valuable.
HELLO, you attract the wrong people into your lives by this inner state. Everyone, regardless of age, colour, or sexual orientation, can do ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. So allow yourself that, even for a moment.
If you're 40, 50, 60 or 70 years old, ask yourself – do you want to miss the rest of your life, or do you want to live it out entirely? It's up to you.
It's your choice to live the remaining 10, 20, 30, or 40 years the way you want it or the way everyone else tells you to.
Your life belongs only to you, and only you decide to whom and how much of it you give.
Yes, I know there are stalemate situations with violence and lots of crying. It's scary and horrible, but there is such a thing in the 21st century. However, there will be no change unless you allow it to come into your life.
It's never too late!
Need help or advice: do not hesitate to contact me!