I only became interested in psychology and coaching once I learned how much our childhood influences the rest of our life. But what we have learned in childhood predetermines our actions later.
Let's take a simple example. There is a little girl who has a lot of toys. And then, suddenly, her granny decides to give her toy to a neighbouring girl from a low-income family.
She doesn't discuss it with the child but takes her doll and gives it to this girl. But, of course, she has several more dolls, so what's the big deal?
It is a shock for the child. Her loved one betrayed her, took a part of her little world without asking and gave it to another person.
It is more than just a doll for her. It is her world, which she endows with only her meaning. And often, that meaning is hypertrophied.
And the problem is that the adult does not even think about it because of some moral blindness. The adult has a different world: work, credits, a food basket, and planning a vacation twice a year.
What kind of belief can appear in a child's subconscious? "It's bad to get attached; it can hurt because I will lose it anyway". And this belief often guides a person's actions.
An adult cannot build a harmonious relationship; he runs away from it, blames himself or other people, and does not understand why things are the way they are.
How likely is it that a person will remember the doll, draw a parallel with their adult life, and change something? It's almost impossible. Some people spend their whole lives suffering and can't find a solution.
But it all started with an ordinary little doll many years ago.
Psychology has established the relationship between our childhood traumas and adulthood decision-making.
Unresolved childhood issues may likely result into:
- Difficulties in following through on plans
- Tendency to give in on lengthy negotiations
- Mood changes
- Tendency to prove everything
- Preference to be right always
- Selecting a submissive role rather than standing for one's values and principles
Of course, the list can go and go on.
So, I was curious to observe that despite childhood challenges, some people effectively overcome these problems and live fulfilling lives.
The question is how?
- Here are a few suggestions:
- They become captains of their lives.
- They learn quotes, scriptures and mantras to boost their self-esteem
- They practice solitude to manage their emotions
- They acquire; coaches, mentors and therapists. They are not afraid to see for a helping hand
- They continually invest in themselves by pouring in good content; books, conferences, and movies.
- Last but not least, they continually pursue better versions of themselves.
Are you stuck in your childhood issues, curious to grow and live a better life? Get in touch.