Fear of public opinion. It's one of the most common fears that prevent us from achieving what we want.
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When we start doing something new, for some reason, we care very much about what other people think about us, although they don't care what you do at all; they have enough problems of their own.
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You can recognise this fear in yourself through the following symptoms:
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- feelings of shame, pain and anxiety when someone does not agree with your opinion;
- problems with asserting your point of view in an argument;
- unwillingness to openly express your opinion for fear of being criticised;
- fear of independent action;
- rejection of making decisions if another person has negatively evaluated them;
- a tendency to make excuses and explain your actions to somebody;
- refusal to satisfy your wishes for fear of being judged.
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Here are a few stories depicting some of these symptoms:
Shame - I knew a person who was frightened of others disagreeing with him. It turned out everyone always listened to His point of view.
I knew another person was having difficulties asserting their point of view, yet people flocked to them for advice.
Again, there was this guy frightened of being criticised. Eventually, He read more than a thousand books and could oppose almost every argument.
Then there was another person who thought that others were always taking action for Him, yet concluded that all His achievements were solely His blessing and hard work.
This guy applied 575 times to get His first project in the technology world. He received negative and often unprofessional feedback hundreds of times. Yet He became an expert on the first project He eventually got accepted.
This lad trained to run the London Marathon, thinking; I can bail out any moment. So that was His pitch to friends. Only to learn that in London Marathon, you have only a few chances not to finish; the organisers help (that's mildly said) you to get over the finish line.
Last but not least, even this blog post gets judged when I compile it. And I know it will likely get more judgements later on, yet I refuse to "not-write-it".
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Regardless of what you do, there will always be those who don't like it.
Unfortunately, you can only win some of them.
In a world saturated with opinions and an army of self-proclaimed experts, it is challenging to separate actual feedback from emotional judgement. So, we have to accept it!
"Don't take criticism from people you would never go to for advice"
Morgan Freeman asserts this beautifully, isn't He?
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And if you still have this fear and cannot get rid of it by yourself, I invite you to a coaching session! Until the end of March for a voluntary payment!